You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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