i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
