nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
