Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
