quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
