My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
