I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
