You can't special order awesome
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize