The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
