Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
