that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
