SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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