she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
