I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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