I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
