I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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