Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
