i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
