you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
