So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
