So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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