Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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