Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
