the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We have started to decorate penises.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
