there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
