Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
