it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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