i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
