She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
