The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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