I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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