have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
