Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
handjob tips. give me some.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
