I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
