So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
