Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
