eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
