Kiss
Puke
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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