Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
