i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
