Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
NoShamevember. You game?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
