I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
don't judge my taste in strippers
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
