Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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