I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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