so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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