...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
