I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Can you repeat that, but with context?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
