the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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