So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
