and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
