i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Still dying that you shit outside
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
